off the coast of Bingo Bango
on the ship 'The Royal Hissing'
the captain was in a terrible rage
his favorite meal was missing
'argh!' he roared out angrily
'we mustest get it back!
before i get inside my heart
a fungulous attack!'
with that the whole crew
had heard quite enough
and set out and spread out
to find the food stuff
they hired an army
'twas rather big
of five polish mercenaries,
a pot,
and a pig
together they rampaged
here, there, far and wide
killing all who they saw
and tipping cows on the side
they captured potatoes
and kidnapped some toast
but they still couldn't find
what their chief wanted most
so they returned to the boat
with their booty and jewels
but when the head honcho saw them
he shouted out 'FOOLS!'
'for this i have sent you?
more gold do i need?
No! i am HUNGRY!
i sent you for FEED!'
'so toast up the toast!
and fry up the fries!
as for you (to the pig)
you must forfeit your thighs!'
'for, for this fabulous feast
which we'll shortly start makin'
we'll need lots of pork chops
and hamstring and bacon!'
but the pig wouldn't hear it
it said they could rot
and then turned to its pals
the five poles and the pot
the pig yelled out 'JIHAD!'
(it was muslim you see)
and with that they waged war
on those men of the sea
(the battle was horrid
it was long and intense
so i'll skip to the end
to cut short your suspense)
...when the clanging had stopped
and the dust had all settled
they saw that the pig
got away in the kettle!
the sailors all screamed!
they shouted and swore!
but alas! the sly pig
had already reached shore
so instead of pig sausage
they had pollacks instead
and the crew had to live
with the fries and the bread
-and this, my dear friends,
'though it may sound demented
is the tale of how
the POLISH SAUSAGE
was truely invented
