oh israel!
to sing your praise would take forever
in short you're a teeny little country
where the natives think they're clever.
the cities burst with holiness
each skyscraper and hut
but what's with all the life forms?
every second one's a nut.
a holy tongue is only fitting
for a sacred land
thank god the people are bilingual
-the language of the hand...
the land of milk and honey!
hatikvah and the hora!
the kingdom of heaven and city of gold
where everyone's a schnorrer.
---------------------------------
alright! enough! i can't go on.
sabra, this one's for you.
i hope this is satisfactory enough.
(p.s. i love israel. it's just that 1.the jewish wacko magnet of the world 2.tiring to be pumped with radically pro-zionistic beliefs [especially by people that have no clue about anything else of their culture except yom hatzmaot and falafel balls]. and so i don't like falling into that genre. i try to leave it to all the thousands of rabbis who beat me to it)
31 comments:
I think one of the reasons i love israel is specifically because it's 'the jewish wack0 magnet of the world'.. awe-inspiring AND anxiety-inducing all wrapped up in one teeny little country!
Hehe....true words, all. But I like the nuts in Israel. :-)
ya, israeli's are often wacked (and every single one has got to hit on you) but I love the beni brak people they are really great.
old city baby!!
(what- you'd rather the wackos be in uganda?? yep, u and herzl)
m00kie- know what you mean, but there's only so many times you can be inspired by a grave or a wall.
scraps- not the type that grow on trees...
trix- bnei brak???? a jewish slum.
flor- no. like i said, israel is cool, but bart simpson with peyos t-shirts and kosher mcdonalds aren't very spiritually uplifting.
wow what drugs were you on when you wrote this?lol
no no, I was at the cutest family there and spent shabbos watching out the window. that place is something else.
[nodding in appreciation]
[grinnin real wide]
[laughing, smirking, raisin eyebrows, scratchin head, thinkin, murmuring]
todah sj
(and someone called us strange, by the way, ill have my people speak to yours and...)
and you folks are quite silly if you forgettin that its not israel were talkin about. its not yom ha'atzmaot and falafel balls.
its eretz yisroel.
land of the jews.
given to us by G-d.
tis the armon shel melech.
inheritance from way back.
its a HOLY place, whether you feel it or not.
"the higher the object, the lower it falls"
1- ain't no McD's in the old city.
2- i'd never eat that stuff.
3- their ice cream is heaven!
4- simpsons suck. next?
that's one funnyass poem.
Too true.
I wouldn't imagine writing about the Jew-o Americana though. It would get, well, too obscene.
ok sj, now lemme tackle ur ode (i can believe im doin this)
"to sing your praise would take forever"
you betcha
"where the natives think they're clever."
they ARE. dont you be messin with them sabras!
"every second one's a nut."
compared to the very normal and idealistic americans, eh?
"thank god the people are bilingual-the language of the hand..."
sababa! loved that one
"where everyone's a schnorrer."
some for money, some for holiness
and yes, twas satisfactory.
thanks again.
sw/fm- none. i think i'd need in order to see it any differently....
trixies- yes. a scene out of the jewish david copperfield.
sabra- no problem. (which 'someone'? and who's 'us'?)
holy land. crazy people. right.
flor-1. right. it just was blown up.
2. ¢99 for a burger? your loss (oh wait- right)
3. wow. glida min ha-shomayim.
4. WHAT???!!!!!??? you've got to be down for the simpsons.
tomboy- thanks.
i can only imagine. (i.e. do it anyways)
sabra (again)- *sniff* it wonderful to watch a true jewish/israeli twist the words to make them fit his/her agenda.
anonymous- thank you. hearing you're a maniac from s/o who refuses to disclose their name, always cheers me up.
me? twist words? mah pitom?!
um on my blog. some patchwork gal. go read.
i did it, i did it!
i linked you from my blog. or whatever its called. i stucked ur silly rambling i mean heartwrenching poem bout israel on my blog.
hooray.
I love it... and I just wanna say it again for Sabra- I LOVE IT. Sabra knows how much I like to be cynical of Israel.
heh.
thanks.
btw, scraps is just as crazy as either of us.
(you hear that scraps? JUST AS CRAZY*)
*however you say it in hebrew.
mahjnuna-tis my bestest word.
as for you nemo, feh. (but hey you followed the link...wait that means you have read my blog MORE than once..aha!)
^date?
(em..do I have to include annotation?)
I was kidding you know that.
sabra- not only is it a bestest word...
flor- i'm dealin' it as fast as i can!
(sry. no pressure but time is short)
till...?
yo sj i think u misunderstooded
sw/fm- (did anyone ever tell you your initials sounds like a radio station?)
of course, i knew that.
sabra- the story of my life
Really amazing! Useful information. All the best.
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s.j.- I found your poem through Sabra's link (good technical job, Sabra!). It's cute. And there are truisms in it.
Sabra: Hashem didn't give us felafel balls?
Probably Halvah.
ahh such nachas when a)ppl discuss israel and b) a link from my blog is followed hehe
re hashem and falafel balls-gimme some time to think bout that one..
Purim in yerushalayim:
Whatever you dress up as, theres somebody that dressess that way all year!
Tzfat: Not A problem just act normal!
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