news cast of the (near?) future

good morning america
un saludo a la florida y a california

the time is is nine thirty seven, and here's the latest news:

-the last 5 year old child dies in the bronx today.
on her way to the drugstore; mowed down by a driveby. the city mourns her...

-in other news, congress has finally ratified the new voting laws. if we understand these rules completely, it appears that the u.s. citizen will now vote for the candidate that that he/she/it does NOT want in office.
when asked about the new procedure, your congressman remarked: 'it seems that the people merely want a scapegoat for all their complaints and problems. we figured that this is just a step closer to pleasing the masses.'

-move over rainbow flag carriers! and welcome the alchoholics and gamblers of the world in your fight for political equallity.
spokesperson fred 'the keg' bishop says: 'is there something wrong with being an alchololic? i was born with this disease. why should there be clinics and groups out there, who's sole intention is to destroy something completely natural?'
the alchoholics anonymous and gambling prevention clinics have yet to voice their opinion.

-speaking of nature, scientists draw close to finishing a new gas which is to be almost as perfect as natural oxygen. dr. robert stuller says: 'unfortunately, we have nothing to compare it to. if we only still had trees....'

-fetch the votes rover! yes, rover that sweet beagle from springfield, has just been elected into office. 'this is an amazing leap in animal right's history,' says spouse dora kinsley. 'the next step is presidency.'

more to be said, after this brief break...

madman's party

hey there jimmy ol'pal
are you sure you feel ok?
your nose seems to be caving in
you smell of bad decay

your face and clothes are caked with bugs
of maggots, lice, and moths
your orifice is leaking worms
the ammonia has worn off

you haven't even touched your cake
that's on the plate in front of you
but seriously though, are you alright?
your skin is turning mottled blue.

don't stare with that accusing look
you're not my enemy
i couldn't let our friendship break
i'd die of agony

don't you worry 'bout your severed arm
what's super glue can't handle?
so cheer up pal, it's your birthday now
make a wish and blow out the candles

*sniff*

i don't know what you've heard or believe about this upcoming thursday, but this is a great story none the less:

my sister, every tuesday, lends a hand at a rather large and hectic family that lives nearby.
tonight she's helping the mother in the kitchen, when the lady's 4 year-old daughter runs in.
'mommy! mommy!' she cries.
'moshiach is coming on thursday!
can we make jello for him?'

*sigh*
childish innocence...

proverbs (? whatever)

-time waits for no one; death is more patient.

-every sigh has a beginning, ever song an end.

-even the sharpest knife needs a handle.
---------
crazy crap floating around in the great void of my 'tween-d-ears.
does it mean anything (to you)?

sleeping easy

i went to a confrence today;
a meeting with those, who live under the bed.
and lurk in the closet and basement and attic.
that slink in the shadows and creep in the dark.

i asked them to stop going bump in the night.
it's starting to freak me out.

war: a tribute to mister tom

Today i've heard of a new location.
only, it's been notorious for generations.
many have traveled there, but few have returned.

Overly populated with the dead and ill
amazingly, the people they flock there still
kamikazes, struggle to hold upper lips
loading their passengers on for last trips
every soul knowing they're en route to die
yes mister tom, goodnight and goodbye.

paranoid

i don't ever blatently bring my personal life into my blog, but i need help and this is the most capable place to state one's problems while still being anonymous enough not to feel crazy.

there's someone/thing living in my bathroom mirror.
i've never actually seen it. but with every flush, i can hear a harsh snickering in the backround of rushing water.
once i looked up just in time to see a blur disappear off the face into the shadows of the wooden frame.
and there was nothing that might have been reflected on my side of the glass.

and if that wasn't bad enough, i'm the only one that realizes the entity's existance.
the rest of my family is blind and deaf to the fiend.

i've tried to get rid of the demon.
i've smashed the glass.
i've pried the mirror off the wall.

but with every repair that is made, the creature returns.

i avoid the bathroom like the plague when i can.
and when i have no choice, i ALWAYS leave the door open.
after draping towels over the mirror.
and playing loud music in hope of drowning the freak out.

but my parents are getting fed up.
they say that the bathroom has a door for a reason.
and that not everyone in the house wants to listen to heavy metal at 4 in the morning.
why can't they see?
why can't they hear?
the shadows, the muttering
it gets louder with every passing day.

how do i convince them?
how do i show them of the eminent menace?

mood of the day-face of the night

time has feeling.

think about it.

how come some days stimulate an obnoxious cheeriness, while others are sort of casual dress day mellow?
some nights glow with an aura of peace, while others ooze with despair and sorrow?

why is the feeling of the sun always offensive, while the moon always defensive?
is light extroverted? dark introverted?
why doesn't dusk ever smile with the same intensity as dawn?
is it impossible for the morn to cry as bitterly as the eve?

is the sun really masculine and moon feminine?

can somebody please answer me?

s.j.- marriage counselor

i don't know what it is about waking up in the middle of the night.
perhaps it has something to do with the mind 'recharging'.
or with the intergration between the chaotic world of dreams and the blurry realm of reality at three in the morning.
whatever it may be, it certainly brews strange ideas inside the head.

take last night (or was it this morning?) for instance:
wake up due to stomach cramps and gasp in shock as my brain spits out another late night special. (here we go)

one of the most fundamental laws in a marriage should always be tit-for-tat.
if a party is going into a marital relationship with an equal (one can only suppose), it must be known that newton's law of relativity is integral in maintaining a stable equalibrium.

that every action, has an equal reaction.

for example:

-if you leave your shaver clippings in the sink, be prepared to find hair globuals clogging the shower drain.

-if you take your beloved shopping on saturday, do not expect him to acknowlege your existance during the sports game on sunday.

-if you're going to make a wisecrack about the opposite gender, brace yourself for the vicious boomerang effect.

the list goes on and on, but i'm sure you get the jist of it.
if you can't take it, don't dish it.
look for the manual. coming soon to bookstores near you. :P

the miracle food plan

this just came in.
nutritionists have finally
developed the mother of all diets.
it allows you to eat whatever you want,
without changing your schedule in any way
and you still burn off all that unhealthy fat.
i believe it's called the 'get-off-your-fat-ass,-you-lazy-shmuck,-and-take-control-of-your-shitty-life' diet.
-or something like that.

reggae 2(?)

homeless in dem big world
self-inflict, i suppose
rolled in filth much too long
itsa bout time i've arose

and as i walk down de avenues
won't take dem fake words nor dem sweet smelling flowers
gotta keep on hacking through the overgrown husks
searching for clear droplets of spiritual power

be sure keep in you- at all times
a pure heart, -open eye,- a clear mind
you can't guide yourself up to higher ground
if yur still followin from behind.

never look back, you know
heights can hurt great insights
keep your's intact, stay on track-don't you slack
just above you's de truth, all below you is trite.

and de planet dem hates me
don't know what elates me
silk dressed dem still beggers
coarse rags i stand stately.

but you holdin zion in yur eyes
dis exile's just a disguise of pretend
if you lost n confused cause you caught in dem lies
rewind and play dis shit wonsa gen.
----------------------------
now if i could just apply this to the life of yours truly...
(if this is total crap, do not hesitate to call me out on it.)

att: homies and hustlers of the world

you are not a gangster.

you're just a pathetic loser who shoplifted from a seven-eleven.

playing a violent version of color war.

nobody cares about your 'turf' or your 'bling'.
mainly because neither are worth very much.

get a life.
and a spellcheck.

-----------------
whew!
sorry it's not a poem, but i had to get that out.

everytime

i'm a firm believer in the concept
of there being enough room on this planet
for all walks of life
regardless of their race, gender, or pecularities
but why, i ask
must i always be sat next to the weirdos?

thirst

a shell
void of within

left without

cold fire burning
yearning for life

won't follow the sightless
down worn paths
to a dead god

remembering is trivial
if i can't