Wednesday, March 29, 2006

news cast of the (near?) future

good morning america
un saludo a la florida y a california

the time is is nine thirty seven, and here's the latest news:

-the last 5 year old child dies in the bronx today.
on her way to the drugstore; mowed down by a driveby. the city mourns her...

-in other news, congress has finally ratified the new voting laws. if we understand these rules completely, it appears that the u.s. citizen will now vote for the candidate that that he/she/it does NOT want in office.
when asked about the new procedure, your congressman remarked: 'it seems that the people merely want a scapegoat for all their complaints and problems. we figured that this is just a step closer to pleasing the masses.'

-move over rainbow flag carriers! and welcome the alchoholics and gamblers of the world in your fight for political equallity.
spokesperson fred 'the keg' bishop says: 'is there something wrong with being an alchololic? i was born with this disease. why should there be clinics and groups out there, who's sole intention is to destroy something completely natural?'
the alchoholics anonymous and gambling prevention clinics have yet to voice their opinion.

-speaking of nature, scientists draw close to finishing a new gas which is to be almost as perfect as natural oxygen. dr. robert stuller says: 'unfortunately, we have nothing to compare it to. if we only still had trees....'

-fetch the votes rover! yes, rover that sweet beagle from springfield, has just been elected into office. 'this is an amazing leap in animal right's history,' says spouse dora kinsley. 'the next step is presidency.'

more to be said, after this brief break...

71 comments:

;iulu said...

i needed this. work sucks. it seem to want to closely mimic life. urg.

How be the dust bunnies? they behave last night??

Scraps said...

A dark vision of the future.

Is there any hope for humanity?

And convey my regards to the dust bunnies as well.

s.J. said...

they locked the door.
had to sleep on the couch

s.J. said...

the not too distant future

not really

[mumble] stupid dust bunnies....

;iulu said...

the couch is too comfy. i sleep tehre most nights as I fall asleep over my laptop. the dust bunnies croon me to sleep (and shout incoherents in my ear as I im people at 3am..)

s.J. said...

now why would you do a fool thing like that?

None available said...

Good call. Give it thre years, and these will be the news.
Loved the blog, will return.

;iulu said...

dem bunnies? they be my only friends..

*sniffle

s.J. said...

wait a sec...!

;iulu said...

friends don't push friends over the edge..

s.J. said...

edge? what edge?

;iulu said...

the one i slipped offa yesterday.
the scenery's so pretty I'm coming back up for another shot.

s.J. said...

which friend pushed...????

;iulu said...

< shrug >
dunno.
it was from behind.
cheap shot

s.J. said...

is this some sort of hidden message thing?

;iulu said...

HELL NO!!!

s.J. said...

heehee.

s.J. said...

quit hogging my style.

;iulu said...

im hungry. got any advil to pop?

Anonymous said...

I have some at home you can have, if you want. I'll call you when I get there.

;iulu said...

i.need.it.now.
mofo pain..won't be home for anotehr 2 hours.
four please.

s.J. said...

no. but i've got other yummy stuff...

Anonymous said...

If you can't get any before coming home, and you don't have any at home, call me when you get there.

s.J. said...

feel better big sister!

;iulu said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
;iulu said...

i want your yummies bro. two of each. mix n match

;iulu said...

ye. I even take without benefit of grub to ease the stomach pains. imo anochi.. But you gotta wake me at 5am to remind to take. Hard to do at old-age..

socialworker/frustrated mom said...

miss ya at h.com post on my blog-skifree.

s.J. said...

flor- now you know what to do with that alarm clock we got you.....

s.w/f.m.- will do. thanks.

;iulu said...

what alarm? wth..see I'm not the only one with H sentiments. Get back to it and ground us?



k, I'll stop hogging your comments now..

socialworker/frustrated mom said...

Thanks for commenting on my blog u have aim or email? email on my email in my blog or post it on my blog and i wont publish it. comment any time.

s.J. said...

[trying to keep a firm upper lip]
sorry folks, but for the moment my decision stays.
i already have my daily share of crap without logging on.
i've only the strongest feelings for all you good apples out there ( and a two thumbs up to silent j) but it's the wormies that i have no desire to be with.

flor- that thing you thought was a timebomb.

;iulu said...

Look the worms casue me to lose my lunch a few times a day.

So only sign on once a week..but please we need you to even out! (I am so not begging..)


that bucket of ice-water you dumped on me?!?

s.J. said...

exactly my point.

no, i'd just get caught up in the habit again.

umm... yeah. the bucket of water.
(wow. i didn't know you knew so much french until then)

Scraps said...

Hey, you could always try the advice my parents gave me as a child: "Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, guess I'll go eat WORMS!" After all, if you eat them for lunch, they get a lot more tame.

s.J. said...

mmm...
now you got my mouth watering.
with a little salt and lemon juice...
flor, can i borrow your ax?

Scraps said...

How go your dealings with the dust bunnies?

s.J. said...

they're gone.
spring break.

Anonymous said...

they migrated to my house.
your shrunken-heads freaked 'em out bad.
now I cant sleep with all the chatter.
dang!

Scraps said...

Sis-Sleep with a fan; it blows them away and makes white noise to drown the chatter if the wind's not strong enough to move them.

s.J. said...

good riddance.
if you want them, they're yours.

Scraps said...

I don't think Sis wants them either. I'll take them in; dust bunnies and I have always got along rather nicely, as I disturb them so seldom.

s.J. said...

sold to the girl in the funny looking outfit!

Anonymous said...

good. cuz I freeze even in the summer. no fans.
sweet dreams scraps. regards to mamma bunny and tell her ..I didn't forget..

s.J. said...

sis, was your comment directed to scraps or m'self?

Anonymous said...

both.


i think.

s.J. said...

[confused]

Anonymous said...

no matter. sun's rising again tomorrow.

s.J. said...

???
(annie?)
whatever

;iulu said...

annnie?!?

(lord i thought i raised you better..)

s.J. said...

(fill me in then? before i die of shame over something i've never seen?)

;iulu said...

hush boy. sleep for a spell.

;iulu said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Scraps said...

The dust bunnies are multiplying quite nicely. I left them alone for a couple of weeks, and now they're gonna take over the room. I might be aiming that fan under the bed one of these days... mutters darkly

s.J. said...

criy-ckee!
this is it mates! a chance to see the mites in their natural habitat.
jimbo, pass me my bunny rifle.

;iulu said...

:you fergoht ter spit yer wad 'o tobaccy out:



how's the new litter, scraps?

Scraps said...

Okay, ground rules first:

1) No shooting bunnies in my apartment. I don't want the bullets to mark up the floor.
2) No tobacco.
3) No spitting. "Spitting is a dirty habit" (half a point if you can tell me where that quote is from).

The litter is multiplying rapidly, especially since I left them alone in the room over Pesach. I might have to borrow a roommate's hairdryer or something to whip them into shape.

;iulu said...

Charlie and the Choc. Fact.
but google and I split it; each get a quarter point.

Scraps said...

No points if you cheat.

;iulu said...

i didn't see it; i don't watch movies.

Scraps said...

I'm not a big movie person, either. I was for sure under the age of 10 when I saw it.

;iulu said...

oh the old one I saw. it was on an 8mm reel.

Scraps said...

Hehehe...the good ol' days, right? I remember those.

;iulu said...

stop breathing on me like that! your breath smells suspiciously like...cherries!!


p.s. and please stop flinging the phlegm in the sink drain when you wash up in the AM, it clogs it when im brushing my teeth and annoys the heck outta mom & dad.

s.J. said...

the cherries are over sis.

(ever smoke a cherry flavored turd? DO NOT ANSWER THAT.)

and i don't spit inside. in fact, i hardly spit at all.
i think it's the escaped convict hiding in the linen closet.

;iulu said...

no, not the weed, please not the weed..

s.J. said...

we be smokin wif style now.
hard hittin cigars, not the cigarette with mouthwash junk.

;iulu said...

right. yea. [iwillnottakegermsfromboys.iwillnottakegermsfromboys]

s.J. said...

your loss.

Scraps said...

S.j.--you behave yourself. Y'hear? When I said no tobacco, I meant no tobacco. And I didn't mean to substitute illegal drugs for the tobacco, either.

Flor--nice to see that you're reforming in your old age.

s.J. said...

yeah yeah